Real Legends never die
by jade-fae
Summary: Because some people just have to touch things. One more time, into the breach. Merry Christmas folks.
1. Prologue

Prologue

…

A cold autumn wind blew across the dry field. The scent of men and horses followed in its wake as the two armies squared off under a dismal gray sky.

"Looks like they're lightin the field sir" a man-at-arms reported.

"Trying to burn us off it" the knight captain surmised, "set a counter fire, burn off the fuel before it reaches us."

"Gonna put out a lotta smoke. Make this battle harder than its already gonna be."

"The odds are ten to one against us. Only seems fair to tie at least one hand behind our back, just to be fair."

"Ever the optimist."

The knight smile, "One of us has to be."

The man-at-arms chuckled and went about his task.

A line of fire quickly sprang up and began burning across the field, growing into a massive wall as it ate away the old dry grass. The heat was intense, made all the worse for anyone wearing sixty pounds of metal armor.

If he felt it, the knight captain did not show it. This was a small comfort to his squire who stood nearby, shaking in his mail.

"We're going to die, aren't we?"

The knight glanced down at his trembling squire before returning his gaze to the field.

"Probably."

"I don't want to die."

"None of us do lad."

"Then why are we out here? We can't possibly win against that."

The horde was massive. Not since the great siege at Celadon had such a force emerged from the Underdark. Then as now, one had to wonder why.

"We will do our duty" said the knight, "we will hold them as long as we are able and give as many innocents as possible a chance to get inside the walls."

"While we stand here waiting to be slaughtered" the squire said bitterly.

"We all must die someday" said the knight, "If this is where I am to meet my end, I shall do so without complaint."

"I think your wife might have a few."

The knight flinched, "She would be annoyed."

"Captain! They're coming!"

The knight nodded, "No time to think about it now. CHARGE!"

...

Merry Christmas folks.  
The rest of the story will be uploaded throughout the day.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 01

…

#12 Grimmauld Place, an old house in an old neighborhood. Seat of the infamously dark family Black for centuries. Now the property of its sole heir, Sirius Orion Black.

But he didn't like it, so he stayed as far away from the place as possible. Like his private villa in France, far away. Care and maintenance for the old house of horrors had fallen to his much more responsible godson, Harry Potter.

"Remind me again, why we're going through this stuff Hermione?"

"Because it needs to be gone through."

"But why?"

He wasn't normally so whiny, but his days off were few and far between. He wanted to enjoy his downtime, not sort their old junk, "Why do we even still have all this stuff?"

There were things here he didn't even recognize. Probably belonged to Fred and George.

"Because some people can't just throw things away and its up to their much more responsible friends to do it for them."

Harry decided to be offended at his friend's insinuation and pout. Wasn't his fault his wife was such a pack rat.

"Do we have a plan for this or are we just making a mess in the foyer?"

Now it was Hermione's turn to be offended, "Of course we have a plan. Who do you think you're talking to?"

"Alright, what is it?"

"Fire" she replied.

Harry sighed, "Serves me right for asking."

"Oh really Harry, when did you get so dramatic?"

"I spend most of my days surrounded by simpering sycophants. Must be rubbing off."

"The glorious life of a politician."

His greatest mistake, without question, but Luna had insisted.

He wasn't there to make things better. Luna knew as well as he did, the only way to do that would be to tear the whole thing down and start over.

Luna's plan had been much simpler and, ultimately more likely to succeed. Tie everything and everyone up in so much red tape they couldn't pass anything. Harry knew exactly who to play against who, and how, and when. Doing their part for the magical world by keeping the government out of it.

"Wish I'd never let that little minx talk me into it."

"You're doing good work, you know, sort of."

"Dumbledore doesn't think so."

"Naturally, because you're not on his side."

It hadn't been long after his entrance to the political realm that he came to understand the old mans motivations. He really should have seen it sooner. The way he was always going on about the 'Greater Good' was a dead giveaway.

"You know I heard a funny story about our dear old headmaster the other day."

"Oh?"

"Apparently some intrepid thief snuck into his office and stole his candy dish."

*snicker* "Oh really."

"He was quite distressed. Fortunately, it turned up, sitting on his plate in the great hall. Still had the candy in it even."

"Oh no."

"So, of course he had to inspect his lemon drops, just to be sure…"

"…AND!"

"Apparently they'd been replaced with an extra sour brand. Extra, extra sour. Pucker your whole face for three days kind of sour."

Snickers turned into full blown laughter when he showed her the picture.

"My daughter. She makes me so proud."

Sneaking Seraphina into Hogwarts had been a collaborative effort, and all agreed it had been well worth it. She tore through her school work, humiliated anyone fool enough to cross her, and pranked all her teachers mercilessly.

Sirius couldn't have been more proud. The twins had begged to be her godfathers. Snape nearly had a heart attack, and he didn't even know she was Harry's.

"Kinda wish I had one of my own" Hermione mused.

"You will someday Hermione."

"I could have one right now if you'd just man up and put a baby in me."

"Hermione, we've talked about this" numerous times, "when Luna and I got married we agreed."

"Yes, Luna and I agreed you were being silly and we were going to ignore you whenever it was convenient."

Harry glared at the smug female.

"You know you're going the right way for a smack bottom."

"Promises, promises."

And just to rub it in she bent over the pile of junk and gave a deliberate wiggle.

Harry resisted the urge to teach the bushy haired tease a lesson. That road led exactly where 'she' wanted to go and he refused to be so obviously baited.

"Harry, do you recognize this trunk?"

Looking around the shapely bottom, Harry saw a familiar old box, one he'd not seen since he left Hogwarts.

"Yeah, that's, Ron's trunk."

"Oh."

Ron was a sensitive subject. His drinking and wenching had always been a point of annoyance. It probably would have just remained one of those things Harry ignored and Hermione hounded him on whenever she saw him if it hadn't been the end of him. One drunken apparition. One fast moving lorry. One more headstone in the Weasley family cemetery.

"Isn't that yours next to it" Harry said, trying to change the subject.

"Oh, is this where it ended up" she exclaimed, happily latching on.

"I think we just dumped them all here when we left Hogwarts. Dobby must've put them here."

"I wonder…"

"Wonder what?" Harry asked as Hermione pulled her trunk out of the pile and popped the latches.

"I wonder" she repeated as she rummaged around, "Ah ha, here it is."

Harry took a reflexive step back when he saw what she'd found.

"Hermione."

"I can't believe it was still there. I half expected it to have just vanished."

'It'. The Board. The item that had sent the four of them to another world and then brought four others to theirs.

"Hermione. Put the board down and back away."

His friend scoffed, "Oh really Harry. You're being ridiculous."

"That thing dragged us into another world Hermione."

"Just once. Anyway, it's not like I'm going to roll the dice."

She opened it up, displaying the magical half orb in the center.

"See, nothing to worry about."

He saw alright. Oh, did he ever see.

"Bollocks!"

Hermione had just enough time to register his words before the world turned into a kaleidoscope.

Here we go again.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 02

…

The world was chaos, sight was smell, taste was touch and sound. Then there was smoke. Putrid, noxious, all around. And the noise, the old familiar tune of steel on steel. The roars of battle, the wails of death.

"Harry!" she called out.

A shadow appeared out of the insanity and approached her. She fell back when it raised its weapon to attack her.

A thunk, a pause, and her assailant fell to the ground, dead. A new form emerged, hooded and dark, his cloak billowed behind him.

"Can't leave you alone for two seconds" it said.

She breathed a sigh of relief, "Harry."

Her friend drew near, and she could at last make out the details. It was shocking. The armor, the black cloak, things she had not seen in years.

"What happened?"

"You know what happened" he said, absently sending an arrow into the murk.

"We're back. We've come back but, how, why?"

"Hell if I know" he replied, picking off a goblin that got to close.

"Harry, what is going on here?"

"Battle" he replied, "Humans vs. green skins. Lots of green skins."

"What're we gonna do?"

"Well, you are going that way" he said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder, "That's the human side."

"What! Alone? In the middle of this?"

Reaching into his pocket, Harry produced a group of wooden statues. With a whispered word the statues grew to full size, coming to life before their eyes.

"All of you, protect her."

The pack of Dire wolves barked in reply. The two green cloaked rangers simply nodded and took up positions on either side of her.

"Now get going" he told her.

"Where are you going?" she demanded.

"Hunting" he said, "someone's leading this horde. I need to have a few angry words with them."

And that said, he vanished into the battling miasma.

"Well, Bollocks" she cursed.

…

The battle raged, as far as anyone could tell. The thick fog of smoke that hung over the field made it near impossible to determine what was going on.

"Scout! Report!"

"We've lost track of the captain sir. They hit a big group, and everyone just got lost in the murk."

"Damn!" the old paladin cursed, "This whole thing has turned into one great bleeding mess."

"Sir, sir!" a panicked foot soldier ran up shouting.

"What is it?"

"They've broken through. They'll be here any…" the soldier cried, only to be cut off abruptly by a series of explosions out across the field. An ursine roar followed, and the screams of goblins left everyone staring into the miasma.

"What in the lower plains was that?"

…

"Captain, sir, just hang on."

The squire knelt at his master's side, tears streaming down his face. The spear had gone deep, its shaft broken off, leaving the head to stir the innards of his master.

"Oh… doesn't really hurt, that much" the knight tried to joke, wincing through the pain.

"You can't die, you just can't."

"I…"

"Now what's all this then?"

The startled squire drew his knife and pointed it at the voice before he ever got a look at her. He dropped the knife just as quickly when he saw the white robed woman with the ornate staff. His mouth moved like a pantomime fish, absurd and silent. She ignored him and went strait to his master.

"What's wrong?" she asked, murmuring spells as she knelt by his side.

"It's nothing really, it only hurts when I breath."

The woman made a sound of disgust, "Men! They can't even be serious when they're dying. Catch that."

The squire was confused by the odd non-sequitur till the sound of bodies colliding behind him drew his attention. He quivered at the sight of a Dire wolf, its jaws full of goblin throat.

"What… what is going on?"

An explosion in the distance did nothing to answer his question.

…

"What is going on out there?"

A blank look received a boot in the face and those nearby flinched away.

"Someone tell me what is going on!" the female drow shouted.

"But, we can't see" one of the braver goblins whimpered.

"Well then go in there and look" she said, as though talking to a particularly slow child.

"It was a cave bear. I know it. You never forget that sound. The shaman said it would get me. She said it would. But I didn't listen."

The drow gave the babbling goblin a disdainful look, "What is his problem?"

"Rohtak had a bad experience with a cave bear once. Now he thinks they're all out to get him."

"They are! Don't you see" he screamed, grabbing the other goblin, "I came up here to get away from them, but they followed me. It's hopeless, hopeless."

"Get it together man. We're on the surface. There are no cave bears."

Just then, a massive cave bear came barreling out of the smoke. It plowed into the assembled guard, snapping up the two goblins in its mighty jaws as it crashed on through.

"I told you sooooooo…"

The drow took a second to stare after the bear, then, "What the hell was that!"

"A short-faced cave bear."

The voice that came from the miasma spoke in the common tongue. The silhouette that followed was too tall to be a goblin.

"Kill him!"

What remained of her guard surged forward into the acrid fog. She couldn't make out the details, but she didn't need to. Their deaths came in rapid succession. The stranger never even missed a step.

The drow felt a shiver run down her spine.

"Who are you" she demanded with all the imperious disdain she could muster.

"Just an old legend, adding a few new verses."

The nonsense words stoked her fury. Who was this 'man' to speak to her in such a way?

"I will skin you alive hu'man'." she growled, drawing her swords.

"That's funny. Minvara used to say that to me all the time."

The drow's rage at hearing the name of her families hated nemesis turned to stark frozen terror when she finally saw who she'd been threatening.

"It can't be."


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 03

…

It was many hours after her arrival when Hermione finally found herself at the edge of the smoky miasma. She was tired and dirty and smelled like an overdone steak.

"Bleck!"

"Never did much care for smoked meat."

Hermione barely batted an eye when her friend emerged from the miasma.

"There you are" she said blandly.

"Here I am."

"Aaaaah!" she exclaimed, dropping exhausted to her knees, "I feel like I walked across that field a dozen times."

"That all?"

"Don't be a smartass Harry" she snapped.

"Maybe next time I tell you to put something down and back away you'll listen."

"Doubt it" she said with a pout.

"Obstinate wench."

She had no real response and settled for sticking out her tongue. She instantly regretted this.

"Bleagh! I'm going to be tasting smoke for weeks. So, where've you been?"

"Cutting through their lines. Decapitating their command structure. You know, all in a day's work."

"I can't believe we're going back to this, after so long."

"We aren't" said Harry.

"Uh, come again."

"As we've been standing here the world around us has started to fade."

"What!"

Before she could even regain her feet, the universe inverted, twice. A moment later they were dropped unceremoniously on a hard, wooden surface. It was another few moments before her brain caught up with her body.

"Are, are we back?"

"Grimmauld Place" Harry observed.

"Well that was, something. Where's the board?"

She spotted it lying near their pile of junk and went to retrieve it. She jumped back when the floor snapped into a box around it.

Looking back, she saw Harry, eyes glowing and a fierce scowl of concentration on his face.

Random items began piling on, morphing into layer after layer of containers around the board. By the time he'd finished she counted no less than fifty distinct coatings. Quite the nesting doll.

"Aren't you overreacting just a little Harry?"

"No."

Snapping his fingers, the whole thing vanished.

"Where'd it go?"

"My secret vault."

"Where's that?"

"If I told you it wouldn't be a secret."

Hermione shrugged, "I'll figure it out, I'm very clever you know."

Harry scowled. Yes, he did know.

"Fine, if that's how you want it."

Picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder he strode purposefully from the room.

"Harry! What are you doing?"

"Giving you that baby you wanted" he said, "Maybe twins. Hell, let's make it triplets. That aught to keep you busy for the next eleven years or so."

"I think you underestimate me Harry."

"Fine, we'll make it a quartet!"


	5. Epilogue

Epilogue

…

"Open the Gate!"

Battered, bruised, and smelling of smoke, the outriders of Celadon returned. They were a smaller group than the one that rode out, and yet, there was a strange optimism about them. It could be seen in the strait backs of the knights and the sure, if tired, march of the soldiers.

"Never thought I'd see it again" said the squire as he trotted along beside his master.

"You shouldn't be so pessimistic" the knight replied.

The squire scowled, "I don't need to hear that from someone who had a spear in him earlier today."

The knight ignored his squire's cheek with a casual shrug, "I've had worse."

"I don't believe you."

The knight laughed, "You came from a noble family boy. You haven't seen bad."

"Not that noble" the boy grumbled.

"Noble enough" the knight said, "Trust me lad. There are worse ways to die than being run through."

"Shem!"

"Here comes one now" the squire smirked.

The knight would have chastised the little welp for that one, but he found himself a bit preoccupied. Especially after she'd given him a thorough inspection and, finding all his pieces attached, started expressing her emotional distress against his arm.

"Big, stupid… know how worried I was, inconsiderate, big stupid…"

Stoically the knight weathered the assault. Served him right for taking off his armor.

"Darla. Darla calm down."

"I will not calm down you…"

Seeing there was no reasoning with her, he brushed her attack aside and wrapped her in a bear hug.

"Let go of me you brute" she squawked.

He didn't, letting her struggle a bit before catching her by the lips. The struggling woman went rigid before melting against his chest. His wife could be so melodramatic, but he knew how to handle her.

"Better now?"

"I was worried" she said, her cheeks demurely glowing.

"I know."

"Well then why'd you do it!" she shouted, giving his shoulder a good smack.

He laughed at her attack and pulled her close again, "I'm a knight. That's the job."

"I know" she sighed, snuggling against him, "but I worry."

He knew that. This wasn't he first time he'd been assailed so.

"Yur barmy old man!"

"Watch it you."

"Barmy! You try tellin me some old folk heroes magically appeared and save the day. Yur off your rocker."

"I saw 'em! You believe what you want but I saw 'em!"

"The Black Slayer, and the Angel Singer?"

"That's right."

"Barmy! They're just legends! Even if they weren't they'd be long dead by now."

"Real legends never die!"

The knight and his wife listened as the two buffoons continued to argue.

"They're not legends" she said quietly, "they were real."

"Are real" her husband corrected, earning a baffled look, "I saw them. They were there."

The woman was shocked, "You're sure."

He nodded. The Slayer and the Singer. When they'd met them they'd just been Harry and Hermione. When they'd met them, they'd taken pity on a group of children, saved a little girl, and set a thief boy on a better path.

The old man was right. Real legends never die.

…

And thus truly ends the storyline begun in Harry Potter D&D. Thanks to all who came along for the ride, and I hope you'll join us in the new year. We have big plans, starting with a celebration of the magical power of booze on New years day, "Night of the Green Fairy" and starting the first full week in January a three day a week upload schedule featuring Poke'mondays, Harry hump days, and Free for all Fridays.

We open Harry hump days with the spiritual successor to Harry Potter D&D, "Powers that be". A brand new world, a brand new adventure. A brand new bunch of things to murder maim and kill.

Who's a murder hobo? Not me.

Merry Christmas, thanks again, and we hope to see you back real soon.


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